gilliangel's Xanga

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thu, 14 May 2009 14:20:40 GMT

.: Of puppies and babies :.

Lately, we've had our hands full with our little pup. Levi was 6+ weeks old when we brought him home from the breeder and now, at 13 weeks old, we are so glad we 'took the plunge'. He's put on 3kgs in the last 3 weeks and is not even half his adult size as yet. Before we got him, Del and I use to look at people who were out walking their dogs at 9pm on a cold winter's night and wondered why anyone would - but now, we totally understand and have become 'one-of-those' ourselves!

Most of those we've spoken to say that this is 'good training' for when we eventually have a baby, but I beg to differ - I dont think anything could prepare one for parenthood.

Which brings me to the next topic - babies. It's a subject that has been coming up more frequently - we have been asked if we are planning for a baby, or actively trying...and we even sometimes get the odd "Why so early?". I suppose it's inevitable as most people we are friends with are around the same age or older.

To be honest, when Del and I were engaged, we did decide that we would have active contraception for a period of time. There was no set time frame and we both felt that we would know when the time was right. So, being a medico and hopeless at remembering daily meds, I opted for the Implanon - hassle-free, no need to remember the daily tablet, once-in-you're-good-to-go, higher success rate compared to barrier method etc . Early this year, I had it taken out - way before the 3-year mark, due to reasons unrelated.

So now, we're at a 'if-it-happens,it-happens' stage - which is exciting.

And if it does happen sooner rather than later...I've got things all worked out. Heh.
Being a health professional, I have all these ideals in my head. I supposedly know 'all' about morning sickness, bloated sensation and swollen feet. I know which way to lie when on my back (leaning to the left in case you're wondering). I know how to palpate which way bubs will be facing, I will be able to roughly estimate my due date, I'll be able to measure my own SFH, I'll know what Braxton-Hicks are and when to expect first movements of bubby.
I think I know what birth plan I will have and I know I wouldnt mind labouring and birthing in a public hospital.

And when bubs is born, I'll be able to examine it and know to expect really-SMELLY-YUCKY-meconium in the first 24hours. And then Im supposedly able to know the theory behind breastfeeding and the whole process of latching. I'll know what meds to take to help my 'milk-come-in'.

Following on from that, I've decided that I want to try modern cloth nappies with bubby - and I'll want to 'wear' it; either with a carrier or a mei-tai or a sling.

And the list goes on...

But at the end of the day, when I do meet our little one for the first time, amidst all the emotion, I hope I'll remember to 'give' him/her to God.

Man can only plan, but God directs.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 00:46:25 GMT

.: What do YOU want to be when you grow up? :.

People generally fall into two categories - those who love kids and those who dont.Occasionally there is a third group; the ambivalent kind who would rather not, but dont mind if there are little people present.
I guess I would fall into the first category - Ive always been clucky and at one point, thought that my greatest calling in life is to be a mother. Perhaps it still is, but Id have to dig very deep into the recesses of my mind to remember.

So, it was only natural that I thought Id be a paediatrician; after the whole business of getting that darned medical degree.But..and there is a BIG but...

I have chosen to do a term in Paeds this year - a longer duration compared to normal terms. And so far, I am loving every minute of it. But wait, I also loved every minute of adult ED and general medicine. Which brings me to a dilemma - what do I really want to do when I grow up? In terms of medical specialty that is.

In the last 2 weeks of my rotation in particular, I have had my emotions strung on an elastic band, more stretchy than anything you could ever imagine. I have had to assist in the resuscitation of an 11-day old bubs, who eventually died. And then, there were the two status asthmaticus-es. Plus, the stabbing/penetrating neck injury of the 2 week old neonate this morning and followed by a 14 y/o Down Syndrome boy who had an acute abdomen.
In two of those cases (guess which ones), I let myself cry on the drive home.

So..in the next few months (a timeline I have given myself), as I ponder about where my medical career is headed, I will take stock..and remember all these incidents, all these patients whose lives I have come across. From that little old lady who tried to take her own life after her husband died, to the 2 week old whose penetrating injury missed all the great vessels in the neck. I will remember how I felt as I tenaciously searched for a vein to try and get IV access. I will remember how I whispered prayers to God under my breath as I methodically went through the A-B-C's of resuscitation. I will think of how with each case, we are a little closer to the prevention of many others.

And I will pause as I think of my husband..of the children we will have one day (soon we hope!)...and ask God to be so clear in His direction over our life.

And I will remember that " For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. " Colossians 1:16-17

And then...I will really know what I want to be when I grow up.

Popo and I
1984 and 2009

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 07:11:57 GMT

. : 26 : .

And so, as the year draws to a close, as the sounds of merriment surrounds us, as people kick-back and prepare for a time of love, peace..and goodwill to all perhaps?, I once again take a step back and remember the most important ingredient to the festive season is missing from our life - family. At the risk of sounding blue - seasons of festivity and celebrations are the most poignant because the abscence of blood-ties resonate even more acutely than ever before.

Sometimes during the day, I take short pauses and look at my life from outside-in; if that makes sense. And most times, it feels so surreal - that this is where I am. In a text message to mum the other day, I made mention that it still feels hardly tangible that I am married, away from home (and have been away for so long), working..as a doctor (with lives in my hands) and doing the grown up things of mortgages, bills (although I must admit, Del does more if it..heh) and all the rest that comes with growing up. I would never have imagined to be where I am today - of course, as a little girl, I always knew I wanted the whole marriage, family, kids thing..(and no, no little Berries on the way yet - just to make things clear), but it feels like just yesterday that the girls and I were at sleep-overs at each other's houses, doing girly things and trying to get permission to 'hang out' during the weekends!

Im not a child anymore - but yet, my heart still dreams. I have ideals, I have dreams, I have wishes...perhaps, there is still room for 'a grown up Christmas wish list?'. This year has been a flurry of activity and somewhere along the way, I havent really given much time to my thoughts, my journalling and to the development of my mind and soul!

Anyhoo, in keeping to tradition of lists during my birthday (as reminded by a certain Jelly)..here is my top 26 events of the year -

1) Del surprising me with a birthday trip to Melbourne to watch Billy Elliot- The Musical

2) Meeting with the 'Dream Team' for Internationals at church

3) Brisbane - and Abergee's graduation & first family holiday with the in-laws

4) Returning to Brunei - this time, married and..living with the in-laws for a week.

5) Baby Cayley...

6) Our weekend getaway in the Adelaide Hills - for no particular reason, except to use the voucher and spend quality time together

7) Having the entire family over for a week - ALTOGETHER...which is a rarity nowadays. And seeing Pops washing dishes!!

8) Moving into our own home

9) The first dinner in our own home

10) Surprising mum and pops with a trip back home

11) Organising the sister's 18th surprise birthday at McDonald's!

12) Convention 2008 - as convy parents??

13) Celebrating the husband's birthday as his..wife.heh.

14) Ahemm...i just thought of something, but prolly not too wise to put it up here.

15) Doing my first CPR of the year on a little old man and breaking his ribs

16) Manually disimpacting (no details needed) a little old lady - and subsequently, she went into an arrest!

17) 12 yr old kid in ED who REEKED of ETOH and a blood alcohol level to match

18) Have someone call me Dr Foo for the first time - and how I learnt very quickly that giggling is not a good response

19) Telling a 14 yr old lass that she was pregnant

20) Seeing Popo on Skype..and then tearinglaughing when she tried to 'stroke' my cheek

21) Having the sister in Adelaide

22) Having another body in bed with me every night.

23) Seeing the brother in S'pore

24) Having breakfast with Ps J & wife

25) Sitting in Del's Jeep for the first time

26) Walking the 6km Advertiser thing..

*pager beeps*

So yes, I am writing this from work - hopefully, the next post will be picture-ful. For now, the pager beckons!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:56:22 GMT

.: Full :.

Is it just me - or does it seem like time seems to go doubly quicker as we approach the end of the year? Our life has been packed to the brim (or so it seems) over the last two months. The surprise birthday party for the sister's 18th birthday (at McDonald's no less - complete with party packs! heh) was a success, the holiday back to Brunei that we eagerly anticipated swished by in the blink of an eye and before we knew it, our first anniversary has come and gone!

I have hardly had time to sort through and stock-take this year, much less plan for the year ahead! Already, we've received two wedding invitations and at last count, we have 10 weddings that we've been verbally invited to!

A week before our take-off from Adelaide, the hubs and I decided to use a voucher for a bed and breakfast up in the hills that we'd won at a Breast Cancer Awareness Dinner earlier this year. It was a lovely little cottage by a lake and time seemed to stand still for a little while. Del busied himself with building a log fire in the old-fashioned as I dreamt of scenes from Anne of Green Gables and let my imagination run wild with images from the Enid Blyton books I used to read growing up. We made ourselves a hearty breakfast the morning and ended the weekend with going around the surrounding vineyards - sheer bliss I tell you. Weekends like that are precious and we're already planning for more of those next year!

We celebrated our first year anniversary with 200 other people at the annual OCF Convention...not your 'ideal romantic' picture, but hey..we were both doing what we loved and at the end of the day - isnt that what marriage is? Having someone to share life with..and doing things in tandem and getting such a buzz from it at the end of the day.

More thoughts to come before the year draws to a close Im sure..but for now, sleep beckons.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 10:43:45 GMT

.: Making Pretty :.

So I've currently caught the latest cold - my 2nd in 4 weeks. I think the bugs in ED are rather different to the long-stay ward patients. Except that at the back of my mind, I think Im just making an excuse for the lack of sleep and proper rest that my body is telling me I need. Plus I keep getting comments that Ive lost weight - not intentional, mind you - even though the scales at home have not confirmed it at all. Despite being a healthcare professional, I dont think I lead a very healthy lifestyle - yes mum and pops, you can stop nodding your heads now.

Anyhow, the last few months have been action-packed. Not quite a tale from a travel doco or even the latest action flick, but in it's own ways, our lives have been filled with numerous social events, family time and of course, the mundane of work.

In a bid to kick-start what may perhaps turn into an annual affair in our life, the hubs signed us up for the City-to-Bay Marathon, where we walked the whole 6km from Anzac
Highway to Glenelg. Despite not having done anything close to athletics since high-school, i thoroughly enjoyed the brisk walk (due to my competitive nature) even though the husband was more keen that it be a social affair. I didnt ache as much as I thought I would and we ended the day with a nice little picnic at the Cheesefest with the rest of Del' s work colleagues.

It was a lovely spring day - rather nippy in the morning, but once we got started, we managed to work up a sweat. We started late because of a miscommunication and by the time we got there, the officials were packing up the start line! So unfortunately, we didnt get our names in the papers with our recorded times, but we managed 6kms in just a little over an hour. Not bad for a person who doesnt exercise regularly!

And in a burst of creativity, I added a few touches to 'make pretty' our little home. I have a few things on my 'project list' and Del snickers every time I try and tell him about it because he knows it will take another spurt of effort and inspiration before I kick-start and eventually finish them! For example, my first knitting project (a wooly scarf intended for my then-boyfriend) was started in 2006 and to date, it's still sitting in a bag somewhere, 3/4 done. I dont think I even remember how to purl anymore!

So, off I went to Ikea on a day-off - intending only to get a few necessary items (ie baskets and storage zip-up cases), but nobody goes to Ikea and leave without doing a little browse. I spied with a my little eyes wall-stickers and stood there for about 20mins deciding on which wall I'd stick them on. I've been seeing various designs through different interior design mags and have always thought it'd be a nice addition to a plain wall. There are even stickers for fridge doors, just to add a more personal touch to a home. After uhm-ing and ahh-ing over the intricacies of it, I decided to take the plunge and put it up (every little piece of it) on the plain white wall - just outside the guest room.

2nd project of the week - a cork board with attitude! I've always wanted to do this and eventually managed to talk my attention span into it. Del currently uses the study more than I do due to his MBA, but I foresee many late nights attempting to study when I get into a training programme. In an effort to be neat and tidy, I have many plans for the study, but for now, this is what I have done. Del usually uses tape to attach paperwork (ie bills and important notices) to the wall right infront of him, so I thought it'd be nice to have a space especially for pin-up stuff.
I bought 3 pack of heat pads from Ikea (each pack has 3 cork pads) and some left over cloth from their sale section.The cloth was cut to size and stretched over each heat pad to make it look pretty. Now, being the cheapo, instead of using a staple-gun (which would've been much sturdier and provided better holding power), I used the everyday desk stapler to attach the cloth to the heat pads. So in total, we have a little corner in the study with 9 little circles as cork boards. Will attach the finished product in a separate entry.

So, these are the things that have kept me busy in the last few weeks. Then there was family who was over for an entire week - homecooked meals, pops and the brother mowing the lawn (with the now defunct lawm mower), clean and ironed clothes. The house felt so empty without them. It never gets easier - doesnt matter how long Ive lived away from home.

f

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:42:54 GMT

.: Amazing Grace :.

24 hours ago, the news broke about Mike Guglielmucci. Our home church, Edge Church International- whose founder and senior pastor, Danny Guglielmucci is Mike's dad, sent out a mass email to the congregation.

Del and I read the email with a wave of emotions, but most of all sadness. We prayed for him, for the family and for the church before we went to bed last night and throughout today, the mood has been sombre and a little burdened. We dont know the full details - only that Mike told the National Executive of Australian Christian Churches (ACC) in a meeting yesterday morning in regards to his cancer claims being untrue.

Throughout today, I have fought numerous thoughts - mostly the why's and how's. To be honest, I am not surprised - because after all, we are all fallen human beings, but I cannot help but feel deep sadness that he chose to use a disease that is so real - that so many people are fighting everyday.

The things that saddens me the most is this:-
That in the cynical world of Australia (and I suppose, a large part of the western world), there is now another reason for the church to be condemned, for the words to be thrown to the fore, for accusations and all the pointed fingers. There is another reason for the youth to turn away.

How do we respond? Only as Jesus would - with love and grace - abounding.

Please pray for the church of Australia - for the Guglielmucci family and..for Mike.

Perhaps the song Healer - which has blessed and touched so many lives, will also minister to them in this time.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:46:26 GMT

.: Slow and Steady :.

And so I had a break from work. The last minute decision to spend 6 days in KL was well worth it when I saw mum and pops' look of surprise and Popo's completely taken-aback expression.

In the last few weeks, we've been slowly but surely putting together the frame of our little home - not literally, of course - but just adding the little touches that will turn this house into a home, OUR home.

Armed with my little Miss Fix-it Kit, I've assembled the shoe cupboard and other bits and bobs here and there. My man of a husband on the other hand, has decided that he needs a new toy - and as you will see in the pic, with a look of such concentration, I am for anything that will motivate him to 'build' things!

It's been fun but we are far from finished. Where shopping was mostly concentrated on clothes and shoes before, nowadays, it's about what we can add to make this little space truly ours.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:34:06 GMT

.: Man's Best Friend :.

Ronvijken Sleeping Beauty
(this is truly what it states on her birth cert)
Otherwise known as our 'Goldie Girl'
22.5.98 - 29.7.08

There will none other after you.

Our first - and last, apparently- retriever. Pops has ruled out another puppy retriever forever. He says the rascal of a spaniel is enough to keep him busy.

I held her as the vet put her down - the pic was taken in her last moments, where she was so sick she hardly wagged her tail when I went to pet her.

Now, help me try and convince the hubs that we 'need' a little one of our own - a pet dog I mean.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:53:40 GMT

. : home : .

So, over the weekend, (the only free weekend on both our schedules), Del and I got our bums into gear and with help from a removals company, we managed to move into our very own 1st home.

Having lived in our rented house for the last 3+years, first with the girls and the last 6 months with Del, I was a little sentimental about leaving the leafy, upper middle-class suburb of North Adelaide. Plus the fact that I have lived in North Adelaide (initially in college) ever since I arrived in Adelaide makes it a bitter-sweet moment.

But then again, I suppose nothing beats being able to 'own' a house and making it into a home - just the way we like it.

So as we welcome our first guests this weekend (the brother and a certain Bruneian from Queensland), we look forward to welcoming many more through the doors!

View from our bedroom in North Adelaide

Front of our first home.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:40:18 GMT

. : Stocktake at 6 months : .

This year has literally zoomed past in a flash. The days seem to fly into weeks and Del and I are still trying to find our feet around each other!

So at 6 months, what has it been like?
In a nutshell...it's been FUN.
I suppose it helps that my character and personality are such that I am most often a 'glass is half full' type of person - choosing to plod on rather than whinge about all the 'difficult things I have to do'.
And it helps that my husband is patient and kind, and more often than not - we do complement each other in various ways.
Of course it has been hard to coordinate two schedules and there's still a lot of room for improvement, but I think 6 months on, we can definitely say that we are looking forward to the next 6 months!

But the one thing I really really hope we can work on - is our shared prayer and quiet time. It's been quite haphazard and all over the place; we try and squeeze it in when we have time together, but even that is a rarity. So often times, it is in just before we go to bed - that we read the Word of God and pray together but now that I am doing shift work, even that is a precious moment.

In the midst of the busyness of what we do everyday - we know that only His word will serve to be 'a lamp onto our (my) feet and a light onto our (my) paths'.